More redneck jokes You might be a redneck if... The diploma hanging in your den contains the words... Your mother keeps a... Your wife's job requires her to wear... You've ever worn a tube top to... Bikers back down from... You were shooting pool when your... Your favorite Christmas present was... You think that Dom Perignon is... Your school fight song was... You think a chain saw is a... You've ever stolen clothes from... The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is... You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are... You've ever shot a deer from... The first words out of your mouth every time you see... You have more than two brothers named... You've ever stolen... You clean your nails with... You prefer car keys to... Your Christmas cards have a copy of your... People are scared to touch your wife's... Your father encourages you to quit school because... You think a Volvo is part of a... You've ever worn shorts to a... You think that the styrofoam cooler is... You've ever been too drunk... You've ever bought a used... You had to remove a toothpick for... You've ever used a weedeater... Your momma tore her best dress... You have a rag for a... You look upon a family reunion as a chance to... You have to go outside to get something out of... Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help... In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you... Your idea of a seven course meal is... You go to a tupperware party for... You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an... Your lifetime goal is to own a... Someone asks to see your ID and you show them... Your Junior/Senior Prom had a... The directions to your house include... Your dog and your wallet are both... Every electrical outlet in your house... Your kids are going hungry tonight because... You owe the taxidermist more than... You fainted when you met... You have lost at least one tooth... Jack Daniels makes your list of... You won't stop at a rest area if you have an... Your dog can't watch you... You have a Hefty bag on the... You have a very special baseball cap, just for... Red Man sends you a... The Salvation Army declines... You bought a VCR so you could tape... Your dad walks you to school because... Your wife has a beer belly and you... Your house doesn't have curtains, but... You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to... You call your boss... You consider your license plate personalized because... You have been fired from a construction job because... You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at... You need an estimate from your barber before... The biggest fashion risk you take is which... You have flowers planted in a... Someone in your family says... Your wife weighs more than... You move your refrigerator and the... You mow your lawn and... You can spit without... Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves... You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend... You are still holding on to Confederate money because... You consider pork and beans to be... You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with... You have to go down to the creek to... You participate in the... You roll your hair with...
